Had a wonderful week so far. It seems that I've found that caffeine is a depressing drug for me. I feel awful when I use it.
I've also started going to bed earlier. I actually feel a little better in the morning. I think that the last step in getting up early is to stop using nicotine. I can tell when I use it or not. It really affects my ability to wake up, and my energy level through out the day.
Well, that's all for now. Just a quick update.
27.1.11
19.1.11
I'm on a roll
Don't know what's different today than other days, but I'm on a roll. I feel great and I've knocked out plenty of items on the to-do list. I'm trying an experiment of no coffee for this week... might be turning out good, eh? I hope this lasts as I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
16.1.11
The Future
I awoke today knowing what I have to do. I need to become a wanderer again. I'm not sure where I'll stop, but for the foreseeable future, I need to find where I belong. I don't think it's in NC, at least not in the Triangle. There's nothing for me here as I'm not a tech/science worker. My first step is to apply to Universities to get my PhD. I've avoided it for almost three years now, but it's the direction I need to move.
13.1.11
Dreams
Do my dreams affect my mood in the morning? This is the third time that I've noticed the relationship between what I dreamed the night before and my mood when I awoke. Last night was a weird dream about Ashley. There was sex involved in the dream. Apparently, she was excited about the girth of my penis, but still got bored and eventually just stopped and walked away. Not sure if this has any relation to reality, but I definitely awoke with a bad mood.
The thing that got me out of my bad mood was when I heard John talking about the problems he's having with his wife at home. Not that I'm glad about his problems, but that I realized that we all deal with shit from time to time. It made me feel more normal, I guess.
I often think that I'm an outsider, a freak, or on the fringe. Sometimes, I don't feel like I belong anywhere. Lots of people tell me this, and it's not hard to see that they're correct. I can tell that, at least in my ideas, I'm on the outskirts of "normal". Actually, it's my thinking in general where I'm different. I have a very unique look on the world. That makes me feel alone sometimes.
The thing that got me out of my bad mood was when I heard John talking about the problems he's having with his wife at home. Not that I'm glad about his problems, but that I realized that we all deal with shit from time to time. It made me feel more normal, I guess.
I often think that I'm an outsider, a freak, or on the fringe. Sometimes, I don't feel like I belong anywhere. Lots of people tell me this, and it's not hard to see that they're correct. I can tell that, at least in my ideas, I'm on the outskirts of "normal". Actually, it's my thinking in general where I'm different. I have a very unique look on the world. That makes me feel alone sometimes.
